It occurred to me in writing this article, that, when it comes to influencing our fellow man, and woman, many of us are masters in the art already. We randomly practice this or that technique and get our way, one way or another, in business and our social lives. And yet, books and self-help literature on the practice of persuasion and influence regularly top the bookseller charts at Amazon and beyond. We can never have enough tools to help us persuade someone else to give us what we want. Especially those of us in the professions, the entrepreneurs, the business folk, have a significant stake in knowing how to elicit a desired reaction in our target market.  

But long before MBA jargon and terms like ‘target market’ existed, our ancestors influenced one another with a technique that harnesses the enduring power of gratitude. A technique, much discussed by social researchers like Cialdini et al, so basic and effective, that we can observe it even in the communities of our distant cousins, the chimpanzees. 

It’s called the Reciprocity Technique, and while the aforementioned monkeys regularly repay one another with food for grooming, the only non-human primate to do so, this influencing strategy has been a factor in the evolution of human culture since man began trading skins for alcohol and a bunk. And it’s very much alive and well in the realm of advertising and sales.  It is influence in its purest form, and highly effective at that.  It involves one party giving – as in, no obvious strings attached – something to another party, a small gift or a favor, thereby eliciting an emotional response that naturally opens the door to reciprocity, or the returning of the favor.  It might be subtle, it might appear to have no strings attached, or it might be a blatant ploy to hook you into buying something.  But it works, because in each case you, the receiving party, walk away with something you didn’t ask for and didn’t have to pay for, and while ultimately the free lunch may not end up being free at all, it certainly feels that way. In fact, it’s how it feels that makes it all work in the first place.

Want a pastry with that?

When you take a free coffee drink coupon into the nearest Starbucks, with no requirement to buy a pastry, sandwich, or other food to go with your Grande Mocha Cappuccino – just order the drink and leave if you want – you are subjected to the reciprocity technique. Because, Starbucks knows, the vast majority of people won’t just leave with free drink in hand, they’ll buy something in response to a subconscious sense of gratitude. And while that $2.89 drink certainly might be worth the time it takes to stop by, the 35 cents worth of syrup, milk and coffee required to pour it is certainly worth the risk to the retailer that one out of twenty-five people will refuse to pony up three dollars for a snack to go with it.  Companies from across the vast spectrum of commerce promote their business on this fundamental truth – give something of perceived value for free, preferably something of low cost, and watch the consumer repay you with a purchase of high margin items and a strong sense of loyalty via a feeling of gratitude.

US insurance giant Progressive Insurance builds the reciprocity technique right into their sales pitch. To make it easier for consumers to compare rates from various carriers, one call to Progressive will allow you to comparison shop without having to look anywhere else. Along with their own, they’ll provide you with quotes from their top competitors, right on their website. And while Progressive is not always the cheapest provider, they consistently rank number one among consumers, who reward them with business for their one-stop shopping service. That’s reciprocity in action.

Of course, reciprocity marketing is all around you.  From grocery store coupons to the promotion and bonus you receive at work and in response put in more weekends at the office to the free coffee served at the local car wash, make no mistake about it, you are experiencing the gravitational pull of gratitude. The only proverbial free lunch that doesn’t come with an agenda is the one they’re serving daily at noon in the soup line downtown, and even then, you’ll feel compelled to listen to Father Brown for a few minutes of salvation before you sit down to eat.

It is human nature to reciprocate, be it good or bad.  When it’s bad it’s called revenge, but when it’s good the evolutional psychologists like to explain that this evidences the benefits of community in our survival.  Robert Cialdini, social scientist and professor of Psychology at Arizona State University has devoted years to the study of the rule of reciprocity, and in the process has discovered a few ideas astute marketers need to understand if they want to apply this technique effectively in the market place.

Gratitude is a two-way street

Successful reciprocity techniques leverage the sense of obligation that the delivery of a freebie or favor achieves.  The following example illustrates how the reciprocity principle works even indirectly, with gratitude benefitting not the initial source of the favor, but others who interact with the person who received a favor earlier. In rush-hour traffic, for instance, a situation all drivers face at times is the interaction between those who have the right-of-way and others who want to merge into their lane. The driver who lets someone else merge in front of them often gets a nod, a wave or a friendly smile as a response. The feeling may further transfer however, to others whom the driver who benefitted from the initial kind act interacts with in a similar situation. From a similar act in traffic to the holding open of a door at the office for another, the feeling of gratitude can produce any number of reciprocal acts, directly or towards a third party.

Back to business – take online service providers like Travelocity, Expedia, or eBay. All offer a feedback system where recipients of a service can leave ratings of the quality of service they received without getting anything in return. If the service was bad enough, the reciprocal action in form of an appropriate review by the unhappy consumer will certainly reflect that.  If the service was great, the review will reflect that too, a result of the feeling of gratitude that will directly benefit the provider of the service.

According to extensive research, there is a fundamental need to continue the relationship when someone takes possession of a gift.  Enterprising street cons are still washing windshields on the come in big city traffic, and while the airlines aren’t serving that free lunch anymore, those frequent flier miles are still pulling them in.

This urge to reciprocate is extremely powerful and should never be under-estimated, and is in direct proportion to the significance of the gift itself.  It overwhelms other urges – such as the one to gain a car-length in traffic to make it to the appointment on time, to saving oneself the hassle of logging on to a service provider’s feedback system without immediate gain, or any tangible gain at all. For entrepreneurs to receive the full benefit of the reciprocity technique a favor or gift has to be positioned properly – such as, a free lunch at a fund raiser – and the reciprocation can far exceed the scope of the original consideration, which is precisely the point.

Ask for more to get what you want

One twist on the Rule of Reciprocity is a deliberate variation: the implied scope of response is so far out of line with the original favor that the receiving party feels guilty for not complying, so they make a nominal gesture of response to salve their guilt and save face.  Take that fund raiser for example, where the donation card may have boxes available for ticking beginning at $100, and going up from there.  Then, at the bottom off the card, there is space to insert a different amount of your own choosing.  The host does this with the full knowledge that the number of guilt-driven $25 contributions will more than compensate for those who don’t follow their reciprocity nature and depart without making a donation at all. 

Don’t underestimate the customer

Smart marketers know that their motives are often transparent, so the gift needs to be substantial enough – a freebie for you when you sign up a friend – to overcome any cynicism the obvious intention might create.  Also, the more the favor or gift is a stand-alone proposition – rather than a buy-one-get-one-free gesture, better to simply offer a freebie and hope for the best, with no obligation to buy anything – the better the results.  One NBA team gives the entire crowd – this in the largest arena in the league – a free chalupa (a deep fried Mexican sandwich that resembles an omelet) – whenever the home team scores 100 points or more.  Such a strategy sells an awful lot of 2000 percent-markup sodas, and the receiver places the order with a hearty thank you and a smile.  A win-win proposition in any business school.

Whether you offer to fill in for a team-mate, give a colleague a lift from the office or offer a free seminar on the virtues of retirement planning, you are about to set in motion the powerful magnetic pull of gratitude in the other person. Like the other influencing techniques outlined before on this blog and in my book, Executive Presence-The Art of Commanding Respect Like a CEO, your moral compass, or executive management, will guide you in whether you’ll use this strategy to ethically influence, or cunningly manipulate your fellow rat-racers. If you’re smart, this technique will not just help you in getting what you want, but open the doors to some wonderful relationships as well. And relationships are what good business is ultimately about, isn’t it?

For more information on asserting your influence and achieving success through strong interpersonal relationships, get my new book, Executive Presence-The Art of Commanding Respect Like a CEO.

© Harrison Monarth 2009